He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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