She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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