Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
