Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
