you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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