hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i would punch a child for taco bell
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
