What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
