Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
