you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
