the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
