Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Welp...herpes.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
