yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
