I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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