I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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