Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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