sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
