what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
