Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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