I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
