Nicole vs. Life
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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