either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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