you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
