I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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