I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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