whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
