Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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