i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How does one acquire holy water?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
