WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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