Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
