Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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