I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
