Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
