Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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