Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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