He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
