At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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