What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
