I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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