I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
