i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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