ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
