The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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