Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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