I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
