He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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