in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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