when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
