I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
