Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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