my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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