he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
